I was wandering around the living room this morning — not long out of bed — probably looking a bit lost — when JoAnn sang out, “You look like a man looking for a hug.”

What a brilliant lady she is. Of course. That was exactly what I was looking for — I just hadn’t realized it yet.

We have a ritual in this matter. I stand at the bottom of the stairs and JoAnn stands one step up so as to compensate for our difference in height.

It was a good hug. We took a little time with it. It not only got me in the flow of life’s goodness and generosity, shall I say, but it also got me thinking about the importance of hugs to our lives and overall well-being. As the author and therapist Leo Buscaglia once said, “Everybody needs a hug. It changes your metabolism.”

I remember very well one of my first hugs with JoAnn. We weren’t married yet, heck we weren’t even dating yet. We had been corresponding for a few months though, and had agreed I would fly down from Vancouver to Denver for a visit so that we could get to know each other better.

JoAnn met me at DIA and we walked to the parking lot where she had parked her car. But before getting into the car I succumbed to an urge that was impossible to deny, and took her in my arms. It was a hug that went on and on and on, and I must say — speaking for myself — that it made me feel my visit was off to a very auspicious beginning indeed.

There is much more to hugs than “romance,” of course. A hug can fill a void in a way that nothing else can.

One of the most precious hugs of my life came in the extraordinarily tender and indescribable moment that followed the physical passing of my first wife, Joy.

Joy had suffered a stroke on an airplane as we were returning to Vancouver from a holiday in the Caribbean, and was rushed to hospital in a coma. The doctor said there was nothing they could do, and it was simply a matter of waiting for the end. Joy was moved to a private room — where for two or three hours I kept a lonely vigil as her life slowly ebbed away.

The fateful moment arrived. Joy breathed her last breath. The wonderful Australian nurse turned to me and said, “God’s got her.” Then, opening her arms wide — she gave me a hug of pure compassion and love.

I’d like to end this post with an excerpt from an article entitled ‘Importance of Hugs in a Marriage,’ at www.theprofessorshouse.com.

“When the man of the house — the breadwinner — gets downsized by his company, he comes home, looks at his wife and says, ‘I could use a hug right now.’ Or when the wife commits a serious flop during her piano recital and breaks down crying, the husband instinctively puts his arms around her, holds her close and says, everything’s okay. It’s only a piano recital. Your playing was brilliant.

“In his article, ‘Have you hugged anyone lately?’ Parveen Chopra quotes family therapist Virginia Satir: ‘We need 4 hugs a day for survival. We need 8 hugs a day for maintenance. We need 12 hugs a day for growth.’”

What’s YOUR most memorable hug? is a post from: The Happy Seeker - Living with grace at any age

“Being is the eternal, ever-present One Life beyond the myriad forms of life that are subject to birth and death. However, Being is not only beyond but also deep within every form as its innermost invisible and indestructible essence. This means that it is accessible to you now as your own deepest self, your true nature. But don’t seek to grasp it with your mind. Don’t try to understand it. You can know it only when the mind is still.” – Eckhart Tolle.

“But thou, when thou prayest, enter into thy closet, and when hast shut thy door, pray to thy Father which is in secret; and thy Father which seeth in secret shall reward thee openly.” – Matt. 6.6.

I surrendered to my own being this morning for half-an-hour. 40 minutes actually. It wasn’t premeditated at all. I was finishing up my breakfast; JoAnn was quietly working at her sewing machine. The urge came up out of nowhere, or so I thought at the time, the same way an urge from within summoned me from the busy streets of London when I was a young man of 22 and said, “Go to British Columbia.”

I sat down in my comfortable chair in the living room with the most pleasurable feeling of anticipation filling me from head to toe. I noticed soon after I sat down a rabbit had appeared on our little patio and was happily eating crumbs of bread that I had put out for the birds earlier this morning.

There was no effort involved. There was simply the profound relief of leaving my thoughts outside the door, so to speak, rather like in the old time Western movies when a cowboy was asked to leave his guns at the door of the saloon.

Most of the time I kept my eyes closed. Sometimes they were open, as I enjoyed watching the rabbit and the little family of sparrows that our regular visitors to our patio. I felt the peace of my own being enveloping every single cell and nerve and tissue in my body. It was like sinking gratefully into a warm, magical pool in which the outside world and its cares simply evaporated.

Once in awhile a thought rose up to the surface of my mind, but it didn’t stay, because the experience of opening myself consciously to this invisible presence was a bit like having a massage. I relaxed totally. I felt all resistance to life draining away. Concern for circumstances vanished. I realized that this presence in which I was luxuriating with such bliss was the very source of healing and health and well-being – not only for my body but also for heart and mind.

It was an experience of the most profound and intimate love. Nothing going on except a man sitting in his chair. But I do not know what could be more exciting, or more fulfilling.

I bask in the glow still, and in the awareness that this “love affair” with the timeless can deepen and grow each coming day. I’m sure that I will want to spend a little time each morning and each evening engaging in this time of communion. From eternal Being I came into this world — this is where I shall return.

I said at the beginning of this post that the impulse to spend a few moments in this way before going to my office seemed to come out of nowhere as I was finishing breakfast. But as I thought about it later, I realized this was not the case. Last evening, as I was writing in my journal, I wrote: “Let Being increase, let form decrease.”

How quickly my intention manifested itself. But perhaps I should not be surprised that life likes to move quickly as it goes about its remarkable, mysterious work.

I’d love to share any of your experiences along this line. My love and best wishes to all who may read these words.

How quickly an intention can manifest is a post from: The Happy Seeker - Living with grace at any age