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I left my mother, but my mother has not left me

So there I was, 22 years old, standing with my Mum and Dad on the platform at Victoria station in London. All kinds of excitement in my heart. All sorts of sorrow and pain in the hearts of my parents.

I tried hard to comfort my parents, especially my mother, speaking to her earnestly about what I hoped to achieve and experience in Canada. Then I said goodbye to my parents and boarded a boat train that would take me to Southampton, where a ship named the Homeric would take me to a new life in British Columbia, Canada.

I didn’t know a soul in British Columbia. I was responding to a strange compulsion in my heart that had arisen in me a few months earlier. Out of the blue, it had come. I had a good job as a junior reporter on the London Daily Express. And I was an only child.

The trouble was, though, that I saw no purpose in the life I was leading. I felt I was living in an alien world. I didn’t really think much about the pain my abrupt departure would cause my parents: I felt I had no choice but respond to the overwhelming compulsion within me, which I felt was coming from life itself, from a source I could not deny.

The bottom line I wish to share here is that because of the way my life evolved, including being evacuated to the Devon countryside as a child during World War 2, I really saw very little of my mother while she was alive. The call of “truth,” the fierce desire to find greater meaning and purpose in life, kind of drowned everything else out.

But although I largely “abandoned” my mother (and my father) in my pursuit of what I thought of as a higher goal, I realize now, at 85, with immense gratitude, that my mother (and my father) have not abandoned me.

I feel their loving presence with me all the time, really, encouraging me and supporting me as I move into the latter years of my life. And I am grateful beyond words.

My love to you, and as always, if you have any thoughts on the above please share.

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{ 15 comments… read them below or add one }

Norma Cherry October 19, 2017 at 1:48 pm

Christopher, Thank you always for sharing your heart. You never know who or how it may touch another. It touched me today in a very special way. All the very best to you!

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Christopher Foster October 20, 2017 at 9:28 am

Thank you Norma. Your words are a blessing to me. We’ll “keep on keeping on,” won’t we. All the very best to you too.

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Wendy Bryan October 19, 2017 at 5:41 pm

Thank you for this lovely article Christopher and indeed, thank you for all you write and share. I find your writings, wisdom and life experiences calming and inspiring. As a (bit of) a writer myself, reading what you share encourages me to keep writing and sharing also. I love your kindly outlook on life. Many thanks and I’m sending you love all the way from Australia. 😊❤️
Wendy Bryan recently posted..Why Mindfulness Matters

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Christopher Foster October 20, 2017 at 9:43 am

Thanks Wendy, it was a joy to get your comment. It made me think, ‘We all have kindred spirits near and far whether we realize it or not.’ In one sense, I don’t think geography comes into it. That said, I admit I have a special place in my heart for Australia, where I roamed a little bit when I was young. As far as the writing goes, we all have a gift to give, and if you feel called to write you absolutely must keep at it:-). Love from Colorado.

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Wendy Bryan October 21, 2017 at 1:13 am

Thanks Christopher, once again, you’ve inspired me – I’ll keep writing! I love living in Aust and I’m fortunate to live on the glorious Mornington Peninsula in Victoria. I look forward to your next newsletter/article. Many thanks for taking the time to reply. 😊

Emmanuel Asare October 20, 2017 at 5:40 am

Dear Mr Christopher, I have loved reading your writeups and they sound decisive, influential, encouraging and educational to me.
You are one the influencers on my life and I love to get messages from you over and over again.
I pray that God gives you more days on this earth to aspire and inspire people.

Blessings….

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Christopher Foster October 20, 2017 at 9:50 am

Thank you so much Emmanuel. Your words are a blessing. I really appreciate you taking the time to write such heart-felt words. I read your comment to my wife just now and she joins me in sending you blessings and love.

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Bonnie F Palombo October 21, 2017 at 9:45 pm

Chris, I so appreciate your words . . . motherhood has been a theme for me recently in several different situations and your describing the separation, and the realization at this point in your life that your parents are with you . . . well, your story landed sweetly in my heart! Thank you, dear friend.

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Christopher Foster October 23, 2017 at 9:22 am

Thank you so much for taking the time to share these thoughts, Bonnie. I’m thankful, truly, that my words, as you say, touched your heart. Love to you and Tony.

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Maureen Moeller October 22, 2017 at 5:25 am

What heartfelt words! As a mother of 3 (now adult) sons I believe you are sharing a universal story. We are wise to remember that children are not ours to keep; they are gifts given to us temporarily to release out into the world, just as you did Christopher, to find your true purpose. Nevertheless, a mother keeps her children in her heart forever, and perhaps that is what you feel every day! I love the way you begin this writing, “I left my mother, but my mother never left me”…how true! Thank you for sharing your heart again and much love to you and JoAnn!

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Christopher Foster October 23, 2017 at 9:31 am

Hi Maureen,
Thank you for your comments. Your words are very thought-provoking. I especially love what you say about motherhood (obviously something I have no experience of:-) and how a mother keeps her children in her heart forever. I think that’s a truly sublime thought. It reminds me of something I’m sure I have read now and again over the years, that sometimes a dying soldier’s last words will be, simply, ‘Mother.’ My love to you Maureen.

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Tina Kafka October 25, 2017 at 10:39 pm

Hello Chris. How sweetly sincere and quietly true your words are. I look forward to reading your book. Thank you for spreading your good words by email and reaching me. My experience with my parents is the same.
Much love. Tina Kafka
Edmonton, Alberta

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Christopher Foster November 4, 2017 at 2:38 pm

Tina, how are you, thank you so much for your comment. I’m sorry that somehow I missed responding to your comment until now but it’s a real pleasure to re-connect with you. God bless.

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Eric Bateman November 16, 2017 at 2:42 pm

It is really a such a inspiring story. I can relate to that, when I left home and move to different part of the country. One thing which I realize that, Family is the most important thing in life and they would always be there for you. We may move on but to our parents, we will always be their little babies
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Download Apk Game November 20, 2017 at 9:14 pm

How sweetly sincere and quietly true your words are. I look forward to reading your book. Thank you for spreading your good words by email and reaching me. Thanks a lot for sharing.

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