This is a guest post from Beth Wilson, a cool friend who writes a cool blog named BHereToday that I'm happy to recommend. Thank you Beth.
I can’t recall a time in my life when I haven’t been in search mode.
As a child, I often stayed up well past my bedtime reading books by Ayn Rand and Thomas Moore. The Prophet and The Tao of Physics were my early companions.
The words, “you think too much” have been spoken to me throughout my life by countless people, from my parents, to friends, co-workers and certainly partners. I admit that sometimes I wear myself out from thinking too much.
In my younger days, I turned over rocks and peeked into nooks and crannies looking for the answers to life’s grandest questions. What is my purpose? What is the truth of life? How can I be of maximum service to God, humans and animals?
Why do people say life is short? Life is literally the longest think you will ever do. ~ Chelselily
Healing from addiction
My obsessive probing ultimately led me down a path to the disease of addiction where I fueled those heady questions with vast amounts of alcohol and marijuana. Thankfully, my years of active addiction were relatively short--I chose sobriety and 12-step programs one month after my 30th birthday.
But the questions continued.
Now, at least, I had a structure to build around my questions. Once sober, sponsors helped me sort through my thoughts and feelings. Personal inventories showed me my character flaws and responsibilities for converting them into assets.
Most of all, my sober mentors and the 12-steps gave me permission to believe in the God of my understanding. Believe me, my personal understanding of a higher power has changed many times during my 21 years of sobriety.
Today my God is total love energy
Today, my God, affectionately known as GUS (God-Universe-Spirit) is total love energy. My belief is that God’s universal love is present everywhere and in every thing, situation, creature and even inanimate objects. Since energy is the denominator of every molecule and sub-particle, so there too is God.
The best part for me is knowing that from GUS’ perspective, the answer to all questions is always a resounding YES!
When we are young, the words are scattered all around us. As they are assembled by experience, so also are we, sentence by sentence, until the story takes shape. ~ Louise Erdrich
As a trained journalist, my ingrained process is to look for the five W’s and the how of situations. Looking for loopholes and weaving stories by plugging those holes comes naturally to me. But the part of me that graduated journalism school (not sober, mind you), is now as ancient as the news gathering business itself.
So much easier to say "yes" to my questions
How much easier it is to throw my training out the window and say YES! to all my questions!
That one word creates a vacuum of opportunity for possibilities to enter. YES becomes not simply an answer but also a platform on which to build a day-to-day existence that doesn’t require details but is content to let the details unfold naturally.
I don’t have to know the plan God has for me; my job is to show up at the start of each morning with a zealous YES! in my heart.
While I am still prone to feeling a now-and-again haunting tug by one of those ponderable matters I spoke of earlier, I can choose to be right where I am, in this precious moment. I can trust that GUS has my back.
My search for life's big meaning is over
I can choose to believe that the search for life’s big meaning is over.
I say YES! to love and let God set my life’s course.
Editor's Note: Any thoughts or comments on Beth Wilson's post most welcome as always and if you enjoyed this post please share it with a friend. Thank you so much for the many terrific comments to my last post and I hope to continue with that theme. Guest post submissions always welcome. Blessings to you and I hope all goes well.