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Are we really alone?

I was alone, eating supper on a cold winter's evening 300 miles north of Vancouver, British Columbia. It was cold and cheerless outside, and it was cold and cheerless inside -- in my heart, and in my home.

My wife, Joy, to whom I had been married 25 years, had died suddenly a month or two earlier. And the spiritual community that had been my home for 36 years was collapsing before my eyes.

One moment I was conscious. Food was being conveyed in a rhythmic manner into my mouth and everything was more or less normal. The next moment -- without even realizing it, of course -- I simply lost consciousness.

Of course, losing consciousness itself wasn't frightening in the least. It just happened. What was frightening though, or disturbing, at least, was regaining consciousness 45 minutes later and wondering what on earth had happened to me.

Taken to the hospital

To be on the safe side, I got myself to hospital to be examined -- first our local hospital in the tiny B.C. village of 100 Mile House, and then a larger hospital in a town called Kamloops.

I was in the hospital for three days while tests of every conceivable variety were carried out. It was an anxious time, without question. Was something terrible going on I didn't know about? A stroke? A brain tumor, perhaps? A cancer?

My imagination was trying to be helpful. But the trouble with being a writer and having a good imagination is that sometimes it can get a bit carried away and work against you.

In any case, I had no visitors -- and no idea at all what I was facing. Drawing on the English capacity to endure, I simply endured. I simply waited to receive further news concerning what happened to me.

On the third day, an inner voice

On the third day in the Kamloops hospital, around 10 in the morning, still waiting for news from the doctors, I suddenly had a sense that everything was going to be all right.

It was like I heard an inner voice. It was a subtle thing, to be sure. Easily dismissed. Like a beautiful bird passing by. But I'm quite good at subtle -- sometimes anyway -- and I heard this subtle message in my heart.

I was still thinking about it when a few hours later, in the afternoon, a doctor finally came to see me.

"We've checked out everything and it all seems to be normal," he said, with a reassuring smile. Then he added:

"Every dog is allowed one bite -- we're going to let you go."

Are we really alone?

I've thought sometimes about that lonely moment in the hospital in Kamloops -- and other times too -- when the voice of the Angel, if I could put it that way, spoke to me in my heart and blessed me.

One thing I'm sure about is this. We are not alone in this world, or in this universe. We are part of a living, loving whole that is more beautiful than anything we will ever understand mentally -- and there is a hand of grace upon each one of us.

I send you love and blessings. And if you have any thoughts or experiences in this area we sometimes call intuition, I'd love to hear from you.

PS If you enjoyed this article please subscribe to my blog and enjoy my free e-book, The Wisdom of Serenity, written especially for these troubled times to help you reconnect with the happiness and peace of your own being.

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{ 19 comments… read them below or add one }

Ricky Ferdon February 21, 2011 at 8:09 pm

Christopher, thank-you for the beautiful blog. My condolences for the loss of your wife. I believe that we are all connected: that everything is connected. That there is a universal energy/life force/whatever one wishes to call it, that is within everything. When we are able to maintain connection with this innate force, then we are open to “intuition.” I am a youth mentor, and find that intuition serves me in relationships with the kids. In Christian terms it’s called a spirit of discernment. I’m not much on labels. It is what it is.

“One thing I’m sure about is this. We are not alone in this world, or in this universe. We are part of a living, loving whole that is more beautiful than anything we will ever understand mentally — and there is a hand of grace upon each one of us”.

You describe the all encompassing, innate “living, loving whole” that is the divine/universal connection of all things. So, no, we’re not ever alone.
Ricky Ferdon recently posted..Whats Minimalism About and Whats It Got To Do With Happiness


Robin Easton February 22, 2011 at 10:41 am

What a beautiful and sensitive comment, Ricky. It touched many chords in my heart. Thank you.
Robin Easton recently posted..Seeking Your Suggestions


The Vizier February 22, 2011 at 12:53 am

Hi Christopher,

Thank you for sharing your experiences at the hospital with us. Before I started to make my intuition a part of my life, I often felt alone and disconnected from everyone else. I guess there were a lot of barriers that I build up to keep people out. But once I started to tune into my intuition, my life as I knew it changed. I knew I was not alone and that I was a part of the world. There is a certain interconnectedness that all of us share.

Thank you for sharing this lovely article! 🙂

Irving the Vizier
The Vizier recently posted..Life Lessons from the 2011 MENA Unrest


Robin Easton February 22, 2011 at 10:27 am

Dear Christopher,

This is so deeply beautiful. I love when you share stories from your own life. They are so powerful. I totally relate to “the voice” or angel you heard.

I discovered this in the rainforest at one of my lowest points. Am writing about it in my second book. And the “presence” I communicated with in the forest, the presence that came to me, saw me, loved me infinitely, compassionately, and watched over me. IT is still with me today.

We are never alone. Although, sometimes it take us humans diving to our lowest point of “apparent” alone-ness or emptiness before the “spirits” can find the space to enter our often crazed manic lifestyles.

I don’t believe we HAVE to get to this point to hear them, but it is often when we DO hear them, at our lowest, most alone point in life.

Since my time in the jungle I have learned to hear them everyday. They are with me always, part of who I now am. They are part of who we ALL are, we just need to slow down enough, be willing to be “naked”, or bare so that we can expose ourselves to more Life, and hear them.

I am deeply grateful for your presence in my life. You are wise and soothing. Such a good heart my dear friend. Thank you for reaching out when you did recently. You made difference.

Much love to you,
Robin Easton recently posted..Seeking Your Suggestions


Christopher Foster February 22, 2011 at 12:47 pm

Your comment is very touching to me, Robin. Thankyou so much. And look, I’m so happy you are working on your second book. It will be another treasure that you share with your world, a treasure you brought back with you from the forest and that as you say has been with you ever since.

I agree with you entirely. We don’t have to get to a low point to hear the call of freedom and truth within us — but it does seem to help sometimes… Bye dear friend.


Pablo de Partearroyo February 22, 2011 at 12:05 pm

That’s a moving story. With a happy ending so far.
Sometimes, we may be alone or may not. It depends on the attitude, the feeling you have.
Of course, all the nurses and doctors at the hospital were sympathetic with you. And you eventually felt confident.
Friendly greetings.


Christopher Foster February 22, 2011 at 12:35 pm

Friendly greetings to you too Pablo. Thankyou for your comment and it’s pleasure to hear from you.


Robin Easton February 22, 2011 at 1:12 pm

Made me think of this: http://nakedineden.com/nakedinedenblog/what-might-this-mean/

Bless you my dear Christopher.
Thank you for your infinite kindness, patience and compassion.
Robin Easton recently posted..Seeking Your Suggestions


Patti Foy | Lightspirited Being February 22, 2011 at 8:46 pm

Hi Christopher,

Hmm, what’s in the air? Someone or something? I say that (half) jokingly because I just wrote a post about something a little similar… A message I “got” soon after my dad passed away, while I was telling him I loved him.

Of course we’re not alone! 😉

Thanks so much for always sharing so beautifully. No wonder all the critters like hanging out near your house.
Patti Foy | Lightspirited Being recently posted..A Message About Your Relationship to Love


Christopher Foster February 23, 2011 at 7:51 pm

Patti, you really are a Lightspirited Being. I loved hearing about the message from your Dad. I’m so happy to be sharing this life journey with you and I wish you a ton of happiness and peace. Be well.


Phil Malmstrom February 23, 2011 at 8:36 pm

What a wonderful testimony Christopher!

Without going into a Faith-specific discussion (you know where my beliefs stand 🙂 ), I completely agree with you about us not being alone. I count on the presence of God in my life each day to help guide me, and fill me with the hope and determination I need to make positive and righteous choices along the journey. I’m so happy that you were open and able to have the gift of His Presence in that hospital, and that it made such a powerful impact on you.

Have a Blessed Day Sir!
Phil Malmstrom recently posted..Parenting Help from The Father


Christopher Foster February 24, 2011 at 10:08 am

Thank you Phil. You bring a wonderful sweetness and strength with you into this world and it is always a gift to share it. You have a blessed day too.


Marty February 25, 2011 at 3:00 pm

Hey Christopher I absolutely agree with this. I’ve experienced times similar in my past. It usually happens at times of distress. During a time of depression some years ago when those around me in a remote house in the countryside were praying, I cried out in my mind and heard in that way you describe. “I hear you, it’s ok. You are going to be alright”. It is one of the most profound experiences of my life and very liberating.
I believe we are here for a reason and have experiences in our lives for a reason.
Your blog touched me, particularly as it reminded me of my experience.
Blessings to you.
Marty recently posted..Are you an Over-comer


Christopher Foster February 25, 2011 at 7:37 pm

Thank you Marty. I really appreciate you sharing your experience. Experiences like the one you describe truly are liberating just as you say. Blessings to you too.


johanna May 28, 2011 at 9:41 am

Hallo Christopher,

While reading your words:

“We are not alone in this world, or in this universe. We are part of a living, loving whole that is more beautiful than anything we will ever understand mentally — and there is a hand of grace upon each one of us”.

I suddenly feel that there is a hand of grace upon each individual’s head, – a hand specially just for you, meant for you, for every one of your special needs, and no one else’s – as no two heads are the same, so also no two hands of grace are the same, because everyone’s needs differ from the person next to you…

I am a new reader, stumbled yesterday on this blog and I am working systematically through your “Latest articles by Topic” – I love it!



Christopher Foster May 31, 2011 at 3:25 pm

Johanna, I have felt this so many times. Yes, yes, yes. There is indeed a hand of grace on all our lives, and how thankful we may be that it is so. I’m so very happy you did find my blog and wish you all the very best as you carry on with your life. Stay strong.


veronica wambui April 12, 2012 at 11:30 pm

Thank u for the opportunity. I would want to subscribe to your blog.


Paul September 11, 2012 at 10:00 pm

Do you think animals and young children can sense goodness in you? Almost everywhere I go animals gravitate toward me and and babies smile at me and make eye contact like they know me. I don’t really understand it, and often think it’s because I look like I’m not a threat to animals or I’m funny looking to children. My wife says it’s because I’m a kindred spirit and they recognize it in me. The way I was brought up taught me otherwise. I’m not special, and no matter what I do it will never be good enough.

I ask because I don’t think of myself as particularly good. I struggle with it quite a bit actually, and regret every mean thing I’ve done or said in the past. It actually haunts me sometimes. Why should I care that I said something mean to someone in the 3rd grade? I was a kid right?

I’m searching for answers for why I feel so unfulfilled and why I feel that my life makes no difference. I actually try hard to be a good person, but is that good enough? In the end does any of this matter? In a million years when the earth is frozen over and there is no human life here, will it matter that I was kind to people? Would it be better if I just “looked out for #1” like so many other do? I don’t know that I could change myself to be like that, but maybe I would get ahead some. Whether or not I could live with myself, I do not know.

Anyone have any ideas or thoughts? I’ve been struggling lately and any comment is appreciated (except from my dad if it’s the response when I was a kid. I already know how that goes.)

Thank you for your writing Christopher (also my best friend’s name!), I’ve found some solace in your writing and personal experiences.


Christopher Foster September 14, 2012 at 9:50 am

Thanks for your comment Paul. I’m happy to have connected with you and hope my current post is helpful and of interest to you. There is one more thing I’d like to say. It does matter that you are kind. It really does.

It matters in two ways. First, When you express kindness in some way in some moment no matter how small the moment, the whole planet and everyone on the planet is blessed. You can’t measure that blessing scientifically but it is there. But second, equally or even more important, when you do express kindness, and love, and understanding, in some moment, you deepen your connection with your own spiritual reality. You open the door wider to an awareness of your eternal nature that is the very source of all true happiness and fulfillment. Blessings to you.


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