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Getting rid of the ache in our lives

It's never too soon or too late to reconnect with what is timeless, and changeless, and deathless in you -- the truth at the core of your own being.

You don't have to be in a special building to do this, although of course there is nothing wrong with being in a special building.

You don't have to be in some exotic place on the face of the globe -- and it doesn't even matter if it's a special, obviously magical moment or not. More or less any moment will do.

You can commune with what is sacred and free in yourself in a temple, in a coffee shop, in a library or on a hilltop. Beside a rippling stream, or in the midst of a crowd in a supermarket.

Finding true peace for the first time

I was 18 when I consciously experienced for the first time  the timeless peace at the core of my existence.

I was a reporter on a South London newspaper, and on this particular evening, had gone to a concert in the Royal Festival Hall in London. As the concert was coming to a close, without any warning, I drifted into an experience of inner peace and calm unlike anything I had ever known.

As the program ended and people began getting to their feet, chatting to each other, shrugging into their coats, I looked around for a moment, bewildered.

Hadn't they experienced the same thing I experienced? Well, maybe they did, maybe they didn't. But as I joined the throng wending its way toward the exit, I realized that whatever had happened to me during the concert -- I was back in the "normal" world now, and I’d better get used to it.

5 steps to surrender

What does it take to stop being pushed this way and that by the world's noisy, insistent clamor and be guided instead by the timeless wisdom of our own being speaking to us in the stillness of our heart?

Here are some steps that I have found are necessary. Of course, if you have some more suggestions, I would love to hear them.

 1. Acknowledge our longing to be whole.

2. Be willing to face the unknown and the stillness at the core of our existence.

 3. Feel our pain and fear no matter how excruciating it may be.

4. Keep on keeping on.

5. Accept the beauty and perfection at the core of our being.

The joy of surrender

I love some words that my friend Gail Brenner wrote on the subject of surrender at her blog, A Flourishing Life:

“Surrender has been on my radar recently. I see how clinging to any thought form or wish or object takes so much effort. And inherent to the clinging is a subversive story of “me.” I want, I need, I expect, I think, I should. It’s exhausting and endless. Unless you surrender.

“Letting go of the attachment to “me” is so relaxing, like floating in space. By surrendering, you put down your defenses and realize the power of being one with now. You enter the flow and let life be lived through you.”

Not a burden

Surrendering to the truth of our existence is not a burden. It doesn't require any effort. As Gail says, it's "like floating in space."

We still feel the push and pull of emotions and external events, mind you. But the ache is gone from our lives, replaced by a sense of increasing wholeness -- a love for what is eternally happy and eternally free.

It has been calling to us all our life, just waiting to welcome us home.

Please share any thoughts you may have on these ideas.  And please watch for newsletter arriving soon now.

With blessings. Be well.

Picture credit:http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2375/2235430793_d14bda3cea.jpg


{ 13 comments… read them below or add one }

Tess The Bold Life November 29, 2010 at 7:11 pm

You bring up some very strong points. True peace for me comes when I can shift my perception as I find myself judging someone. I find judgment “exhausting and endless.” I can only stop when I see I am one with all and that happens in the present moment. In that moment nothing else matters.

I forgot to include forgiving another always does this for me as well. I think both of these examples would fall under surrender!


Christopher Foster November 29, 2010 at 7:51 pm

Hi Tess,

Thank you and bless you for your valuable input here. And thank you for stopping by so quickly and leaving a bit of your lovely spirit behind. I admire you. You are getting right into the meat of things in your living, these are two splendid examples of right spirit in action. Sanity in a world that is seething a bit on its way to redemption.

Judgment is indeed very bad for our health, let alone anyone else’s health, and do we ever outgrow the need to forgive? I don’t think so. Love and blessings to you Tess.


The Vizier November 29, 2010 at 7:37 pm

Hi Christopher,

I agree with you. We can connect with the core of our being anywhere because we carry it inside of us. Of course for some of us, it is easier to attain this state than others.

Of your steps to surrender, I can relate to the following.

Step 3. Being able to feel our pain and fear fully is a way to touch the core of your being. It was one of the most important learning processes of my life. After I surrendered fully and accepted the pain, there was nothing but peace. From that pain there arose the wisdom that I gained from my experience. If I did not surrender to my pain and to be open to what it had to teach me, I would never have learned anything.

Step 4. By being true to myself and doing what I like and enjoy, my energy flows more naturally. I do not have to divide the energy I have to use one part to struggle or suppress the other. As such, it becomes easier for me to rid my mind of distractions and to focus on the moment.

Thank you for sharing this article! 🙂

Irving aka the Vizier
The Vizier recently posted..Life Lessons of the Vizier


Christopher Foster November 29, 2010 at 7:57 pm

Such a beautiful, thought FULL comment Irving. Many thanks.

The way you amplify these two steps is exciting to me because it mirrors my own experience. Perhaps there is a sea change underway, particularly in this matter of being willing to feel something that we really don’t want to feel, something that earlier on we might have stuffed away out of sight… only to have it turn up and haunt us later…

Freedom. It’s our birthright, isn’t it? Thanks again Irving.


Uzma November 30, 2010 at 2:32 am

So much simplicity,and ease in this post. Was expecting so many different things when I saw the title of the post and it all became simple. To surrender, even on the quest.
Beautiful Christopher. Thank u for sharing.
Uzma recently posted..Loving this moment and life


Christopher Foster November 30, 2010 at 10:15 am

Thankyou Uzma. I’m always so delighted to hear from you. Isn’t it a remarkable thing how we are many miles apart in a geographical sense yet from the standpoint of spirit are (I dare to say) so close?

Have a wonderful day. Blessings to you Uzma.


Phil Malmstrom November 30, 2010 at 7:40 am

Good morning Christopher.

Thank you for a wonderful post. What you’ve described in your article is exactly what I feel like when I open my heart to God, and listen in the Stillness for His Voice. I also find that I’m more able achieve this in certain places, most notably the state forest near my home although I’ve been working on gaining this peace other times and places as well. It’s amazing how rejuvenating this feeling can be, and what you gain from the experience.

Thanks again, and have a Blessed Day!
Phil Malmstrom recently posted..Inspiration for a Monday Morning


Christopher Foster November 30, 2010 at 10:08 am

Thankyou so much for sharing these thoughts and experiences Phil.

Perhaps there’s a paradox here? I too find a unique charm and delight when I’m with Nature, even as I also find increasingly that my awareness of my own true presence remains with me wherever I go.

I’m so happy to be sharing in these times of communion with you Phil. Every good wish.


Gail Brenner (AFlourishingLife) November 30, 2010 at 12:58 pm

Hi Chris,

What a surprise to see my words quoted here! I appreciate that you found them useful for this post.

I love the point that you make that it is surrendering attachment to thoughts and feelings that ends the ache in our lives. The thoughts and feelings might come, but they no longer have the pull or charge they once had.

I was curious about your first point: acknowledging that we are not whole. This timeless peace and truth at the core of our being that you speak about is already whole, missing nothing. Can you say more about what you meant?

You are a friend in truth always, Chris. Much love to you…
Gail Brenner (AFlourishingLife) recently posted..Are You Ready to Choose Sanity


Christopher Foster November 30, 2010 at 3:07 pm

What a wonderful friend you are Gail. Thank you so much for this comment, and most especially, thank you for pointing out the inconsistency in my first ‘step’ to surrender.

As you say (and as I say myself many times in my blog) being is already whole. Who we truly are is already whole. It’s already free. It’s birthless, and changeless, and comes into human form without blemish of any kind.

What I had meant to convey is simply that we have to acknowledge something is missing in our life before what is already whole can become our reality. I hope my change better reflects this.

With love and blessings. By the way — I hope it was okay to quote you without getting an okay.


Joy December 4, 2010 at 8:52 pm

Hi Christopher,
When sailing out of my local harbor, I try hard to avoid the rock jetty..sounds logical, right? However, when allowing the wind to fill my sails, sometimes the best move is to sail straight on toward the rock jetty, and at the last moment adjust the sails..instead of pull away as my mind thinks.

Surrender to the moment..Which is what I learned in life in order to experience peace and full joy in the moment. I open my heart to the moment as it is presented to me..release expectation and thought, and allow my senses to feel the moment. When there is a void from release, I feel the ache then try to bless the newly empty space..and concentrate on the good that will swoop in..

Many try to avoid the ache..I think it’s best to feel the ache, and let faith transform it.


Christopher Foster December 5, 2010 at 7:13 pm

What a beautiful comment Joy. Thank you so much. You’re a sailor. A double pleasure to make your acquaintance.

You sum up so perfectly the critical need facing us all in thse turbulent days. Personally, I have felt a fair bit of ache today. But the paradox is I’m still here…the void hasn’t consumed me…so if I keep my trust in life I find in a day of ache an increased awareness of the utter dependability and immovability of my own true spirit. Hey. I’d better stop before I get too wordy. Thanks again. What harbor would we be talking about here?


Joy December 5, 2010 at 9:04 pm

Hi Christopher,
I live on my boat with my two young children..a lifetime dream come true..and the only local single mom raising my children as liveaboards..Channel Islands Harbor in So CA. I’ve hosted a few fellow bloggers aboard..quite fun:)
Joy recently posted..Decadently Spicy- How to Manifest Absolutely Anything


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