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How to make change a friend and not a foe

Learning to make change a friend is critical to happiness and inner peace.

It's a skill that should come as naturally to us as learning to walk. But unfortunately, from the moment we are born into this world we tend to become conditioned into twisted, limited beliefs and behaviors that cripple the natural experience of life.

Here are five steps that will help you reconnect with the true ease and buoyancy of life so that change ceases to be a foe and does indeed become a friend -- possibly your best friend in the entire world.

 1. Listen to your heart.

We tend to hold our mind and its opinions in high esteem in the Western world, and that’s not necessarily wrong.

Unfortunately, however, the mind doesn’t always see the whole picture. It can be very rigid and unbending at times -- which of course sets us up for a painful collision when we encounter change.

You will be able to handle change much better when you also listen to the unique wisdom and insights your heart has to share.

 2. Follow your dream.

Follow your dream. Be true to your dream.

We all have a gift to give, and a mission to fulfill in life. When you realize that change is essential to manifesting your dreams, you see change with new eyes -- you welcome it, and applaud it even though what appears may not always be quite what you expected.

3. Be resilient.

Be resilient. When it comes to handling change with ease and confidence, resilience is our number one ally and friend.

You do not have to go looking for resilience. Resilience already exists at the core of your being. When change comes -- perhaps in the form of loss or loneliness, for example -- call on resilience to help you meet the challenge that lies before you. Be like a tree. Bend, but do not break.

4. Be humble.

Humility is an essential attribute if we are to experience change as a friend and not a foe.

Why humility is so important is that it does not have preconceived ideas of what is good and what is bad; so change is able to work through us in a much easier, more relaxed manner.

5. Be bold.

Be bold. There is magic in it. There are times when we must be bold if we are to meet life effectively and embrace the opportunity to grow and follow our dream, whatever it may be.

Sometimes a door opens but we know it is not going to stay open for too long and it can be scary. It's like jumping into a pond. You just have to jump...

But as long as you know you are doing your very best to be true to yourself all will be well. Everything will work out just fine. 

There is something beautiful and magnificent that wants to happen in our lives. Let us make change our friend -- so that we may fulfill our destiny and manifest our bliss.

Do you have any thoughts you'd like to share? I'd love to hear from you. 'Bye for now.

Picture credit: http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3548/3834056770_97c50974d0_m.jpg


{ 10 comments… read them below or add one }

Linda August 8, 2010 at 1:16 pm

Great encouragement and guidance for being ‘ok’ with change. As human beings we love our ‘comfort zones’ and change means moving outside of that zone. Another item to consider for your list is to consider that how we feel about change is ok. It’s what we do in spite of the fear that is brave and bold (as you mention).
Also, it’s great to have support when you want to make a change. The more often you embrace change the more accepting you will be of how you feel in light of it.
Great post! Thanks.
(fellow a-list blogger!)


Christopher Foster August 8, 2010 at 4:52 pm

Thank you so much for your comment Linda. How right you are, we do tend to like our comfort zones. But the paradox is that when we look back on our life — be it long or short — it was the times when we were very uncomfortable that led to the greatest growth, the greatest experience of freedom.
I love your comment too that that there is no guilt in feeling fear… it’s what we do in the face of our fear that counts. A pleasure to meet a fellow a-list blogger.


Gail Brenner (AFlourishingLife) August 9, 2010 at 4:06 pm

Hi Chris,

Beautiful list. I especially like your thoughts about resilience and humility. As you say, we are naturally resilient and can look inside to find that inner strength. And humility allows us to receive everything as a gift, to work with what is happening, rather than against it.


Christopher Foster August 9, 2010 at 6:22 pm

Resilience and humility. They sound good together don’t they Gail? Two “angels” that are always ready to come to our aid. Angels that are never far away either… By the way it’s great sharing the blogging bootcamp with you this week, I’m getting into a lot of new territory. Actually, now I think about it, it’s calling for quite a bit of humility and resilience…
Blessings to you Gail.


Occasionallyserene August 9, 2010 at 4:12 pm

A great post and wonderful recipe for success in dealing with change that life throws us everyday.


Christopher Foster August 9, 2010 at 6:27 pm

Thankyou I really appreciate you taking the time to write. Seems like life is getting busier and busier throwing change our way…like a child splashing sea water in an elder’s face at the beach and laughing with glee…But it comes with rich opportunity too doesn’t it? Opportunities to grow and remember more clearly who we really are…


Lance August 11, 2010 at 6:15 am

Hi Christopher,
All of this is so wonderful.

I love that you have highlighted “being humble”. Such a great way of looking at humility, and the asset it can be.

That – and boldness! Jumping in – what a great metaphor! There is something beautiful and magnificent indeed…for all of us…


Christopher Foster August 11, 2010 at 9:15 am

Always such a pleasure to hear from you Lance. Thanks for your comment. It’s exciting, isn’t it, to feel the very real potential of friendship that’s based in what you might call “true values”. Something you don’t have to try to “make” happen because it is already there — based in something that is quite sure and solid. I think this is something the whole world is calling out for in these days.


Ladygoodwood August 13, 2010 at 7:13 am

Hi Christopher:
What a wonderfully wise post this is. I love the gentle simplicity and the way it flows and the emphasis on listening to your heart and your inner truth. I always find such a peace and stillness in your words.

I lecture in Management 2 days a week and teach a prescriptive programme. It doesn’t always give me the congruence I would prefer especially when it comes to Change Management. There I am teaching change management curves, Gantt charts, Pestle analysis and every other means of manipulating people and organisations to do what you want. It doesn’t sit easily anymore with my own spiritual lifestyle.

However, I do try and emphasise that whole thing about melting the ice-cube. If the ice cube is a cube and we want it to be spherical to fit in our martini glass we have 2 choices: 1) we can either chip away at the cube until we have a sort of spherical shape with lots of rough edges; or 2) We can first gently melt the ice and then slowly pour it into a spherical mould and re-freeze and get a perfect sphere.

This is sort of an analogy I apply to myself when it comes to change. I have to be prepared to let go completely, my pre-conceptions, my assumptions and my fear; to trust that whatever is happening is an opportunity to grow along spiritual lines; and finally to accept with gratitude whatever the change has brought into my life.

I have been melted down several times, occasionally have been put in the wrong mould, but hey, if it doesn’t work out, I can always go back to being a puddle for a while!

Smiles and blessings.


Christopher Foster August 13, 2010 at 8:48 am

A pleasure to hear from Juliana. Thanks so much for your kind words and for your very interesting comments. I’m glad someone knows what a Gantt chart is, not to mention a Pestle analysis.
Your input about letting go completely is so touching and most valuable. We’re talking about surrender, aren’t we, deep, total, so that something really new can emerge. As you say, if it doesn’t work out, we can always go back to being a puddle for awhile…
But life likes a bit of daring I think… tends to reward it, don’t you think?
Again, my sincere thanks for your wonderful comment.


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